i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
