you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
