Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
