Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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