this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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