Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
