Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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