I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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