He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
