OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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