This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
