When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
