i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
