Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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