do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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