I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you traded sex for a burrito?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
