no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
