But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
