i think i have two assholes
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
did you just send me my own nude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
