I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What a fucking waste of an outfit
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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