I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
