Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
