Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
