Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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