i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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