i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
