I am spending my child support on dildos
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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