TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
