Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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