I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
