me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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