ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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