Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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