You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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