I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
