Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Houston, we have a blender
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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