How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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