I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
