Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think my moral compass just broke
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize