It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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