Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
