Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
