Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
