I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
