do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
