North Korea, Best Korea!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
