i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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