dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
