I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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