I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
