i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
