Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
