i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
