I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
