Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
