I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
