why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
