He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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