I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
