Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
you never un-have a 4some
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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