So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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