Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize