just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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