well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
