that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
