Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
