a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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