Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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